it's about my sweet17. (it should be)

i felt bored and much disappointed in that day.
until i felt that it's a terrible birthday i ever had.

just wait my story, maybe after all of try out exam have finished.

although i really want to share u right know, because it really disturb my thinking.



come soon : my worst birthday post on this blog.


-thank you reader without any comment-

i wish it a chance

Alasan ku memantapkan hati untuknya.

Just several reasons why I have to take Pbupd line or usually called by kemitraan with KS.

1. I want to try from many sides of chances. Might be my own way from that side. I do hope.

2. Approximately twenty six certificates which I collected, either academic competition or non academic competition. I wish there will be pleasant from my sweat of brow and that sanguinary. (* hha, excessive !! because to get first rank in OLIMP MIPA by LIPI – jabar, DKI, Banten level, I should pass from appendicitis sursical operation –Siloam G.-)

3. It’s Free. (*for the first time, my father got that info that will be free 100 %, but it’s a big lie !)

4. It just make me more quite facing examination, well.. I don’t know why, don’t ask me the question !

-I don’t lay hope on that much, I want run off to make my dream comes true-

untukmu aku disini

Dua puluh Lima November, 2010.

Ada getaran dalam hatiku, benar benar bergetar kuat, seolah menggoncang seluruh organ dalam tubuhku. Tanganku dingin membeku tak hentinya mengeluarkan uap jenuh sedingin salju. Tanpa sadar gigiku bergemeretak. Serambi jantungku memompa cepat darahku. Pembuluh darah seolah mengalir dengan kecepatan 1000 km/jam. Aku terhenti sejenak, menyadari reaksi jasmaniku ini. Aku menghela nafas panjang, seolah memasukan ion positif yang akan menyeret ion negative keluar jauh dari dalam rohani ini. Aku tahu yang sedang kulakukan saat itu, aku menulis puisi ini (Saat pelajaran bhs Indonesia) .…

Hilangnya Saudara Sejati

Ketika hidup tertantang zaman
Perubahan bergeser ke arah yang tak tentu
Terlupa dari syariat iman
Peperangan sejati melawan Sekutu

Ke mana… perginya teman sejati
Setelah hidup sendiri di kebisingan dunia ini
Di mana … lagi harus mencari
Ketika penjuru dunia telah dijejaki

Aku tau mereka bersembunyi
Terbuai manis kebodohan di sekitarnya
Aku tahu mereka memahami
Jeritan ketakutan saudaranya

Mereka tak tampak juga tak lari
Mereka tersudut menunggu keajaiban
Mereka tak bersedih juga tak bahagia
Mereka tak henti memohon kepada ILLAHI

Untuk saudarasaudaraQu di Palestina
Oleh : F*RL*YANI

Apa sebenarnya yang aku rasakan hari itu, saat itu, detik itu ??

Tanganku pun tak sanggup untuk menumpahkan kata-kata sehingga membuat antrian panjang dalam otakku. Sungguh seperti ada api yang berkobar hebat dari dalam hati menuju otak bodoh ini. Kekecewaan mendalam, tangisan dan jeritan di kesunyian yang tak terdengar. Mereka begitu jahat, aku pun jahat, sanak saudara serta teman-temanku juga jahat. Bahkan aku pun malu untuk mengatakan khilaf kepada ILahi Rabbi atas kejahiliyahanku ini. Aku memahami kesadaranku ini sudah lama tertidur dan terbangun ketika Ust. M*chL*s*n memutarkan videonya yang berjudul “S*H*I*F*T your Paradigm*!! ”, beberapa saat sebelum pelajaran Hereditas. Bahkan ketika itu aku tak dapat mengontrol kelenjar lakrimal untuk menghentikan produksi air mata ini. Aku malu pada teman temanku yang dapat menahan emosinya yang sebenarnya sama atau bahkan lebih dariku. Aku sungguh bodoh, lemah tidak berdaya, tak tau apa yang harus kulakukan. Dalam larutan kesedihan itu, aku memejamkan mata yang membawaku ke dalam ruangan hampa yang begitu gelap dimana aku tau ada Allah yang sedang melihatku memohon dan siap mendengarkan permintaan ku.

Aku berdo’a..

( … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …) Amiien…

Pada saat itu satu pintu hidayahku terbuka kembali.

Alhamdulillah..

siapaa kamuu ???

Ahhahaa,, Well,, time to tell you all who was he in my dreaming..

Well,, it happened when I sat in 2nd grade of junior high school. I was dreaming about him. I wasn’t really sure about this person, but I really want to share that he is the only boy that I remembered he ever attended in my dream.

There was a dark corridor which the light shined at the end of the base. I walked along hesitantly feeling afraid which I forgot about it. I was feeling that was a long corridor that never was there a way out life cycle. Not long time when I sat in corner, then came a boy who walked toward myself. I really couldn’t see how his face was. I just see he used a red shoes, a blue bag, and white shirt. He stared of me and gave nice smile. He made close closer and closer than before to me, but when he got the closest he only said “Assalamualaikum”. I had’t answer it, but he had been disappeared in my seeing. When morning greets me I woke up palpitately.

Days came and gone, the time which I should go for competing has just arrived. I went there for 3 days with my team of course, (W*ndy and w*ndu, of course me). Alhamdulillah, my team was out as a 2nd winner in an event called “S*N*C L*N*UIST*C”.



Yes it is my dreaming school which held it. But the most important thing that I want share to you is I met him. Finally, i could found you.




He was a boy who came into my first dream I think.
He was a boy who greeted me but I didn’t answer it.
Why did I really sure about him??

Because it was happening in my real life, 100% fact. When I walked along in corridor in that school, I amazed why there was no lamp in this dark place, even at the end of that I saw a bright shining up. When I sat for a while, I saw someone walked toward me using a pair of red shoes, blue bag and white shoes then greeted me by a smile “Assalamualakum”. Directly I answered it. I saw he leave me far farer and farest. No long time I know what his name was.

B***N ***** S*NA

Thanks for your visiting in my dream. Come in another time.. n_n

And the last of event he asked me for a little introducing.

FIRL*YAN*,,, did you find him at that time ???